2004-05-04 - 12:44 p.m.
this is your life, and it's ending one day at a time...
so welcome back to life. there is so much to do and so little time to do it in, supposing, of course, that we figure out just what it is that we are supposed to be doing. at the moment, i am content learning to walk again. and to pray. and to smile...
as many of you know, and to those who do not, let me confirm your fears, i joined the catholic church this easter. and though i've been meaning to write about the experience, every time i try to do it, i get shy. in fact, if you were to ask me in person about it, i would probably just smile really big and tell you it was great.
(i just want to interject here: i have the world's CUTEST bunny sitting on my lap. she is the new love of my life and this being the case, her name is beatrice... and in way of illustration i would just like for everyone to envision the velveteen rabbit come to life. that is my bunny. okay, i am finished now.)
right. confirmation... well, all i can say is that my long-standing analogy of marriage continues to be appropriate. it was not ethereal or mystical. nor was it emotional, really, other than a profound sense of peace and contented happiness. all the preparation for the event were far more emotional than was the thing itself. i didn't cry. i didn't have goosebumps. it was as normal as waking up in the morning. and i have no regrets.
highlights of the occasion: my family being a part, seeing them participate in this thing that was so foreign for my sake... dana coming though i haven't seen him since... the bonfire outside the church before we went in... the procession through a completely dark, cold sanctuary filled with incense... the lighting of the candles... the slow reading of salvation history beginning in genesis... the moment when the lights come on and everyone sings as loudly as they can in celebration of the Lord's resurrection... the joy of the baptisms... the smell of the annointing oil that stayed with me for days afterward... the feeling of the priest's hands on my head as he looked into my eyes and blessed me... the hand of my sponsor, elaine, on my shoulder... my first crucifix, (a gift of nona ) which is beautiful... my first confession and my first penance... the grace of waking up for the next week with a smile on my face because i remember that i'm catholic...
so who knows... maybe i'll become a nun after all.
in all the grace and mercy of His light,
j.
p.s. i am done with starbucks!
