2003-10-13 - 7:01 p.m.
yet again, it has been too long since i have shouted into the void. life just seems to pour in the windows and all the precious personal space to think, process, and write gets lost. i'm talking more, as well, which i think is healthy, though it does reduce the need to vent via the written word.
my world is still in a state of upheaval and chaos. my parents, of course are at the center (or the lack there of), and i am finding myself in the awkward and indescribably difficult task of maintaining relationships with my family members, while at the same time assuming that they are just as ignorant and clueless as i am about what ought to be done. sometimes my siblings and i just stare at each other in silence, because there is nothing left to say. and at the same time, everyone else (the church, old friends, family, etc.) has lots of advice and input, and if only we could just listen to them we could put this thing back together. but all things considered, i am well.
i saw kill bill last weekend, opening night, i believe. you could tell that there were a lot of tarantino fanatics in the theatre and strangely enough, i found it rather annoying. it was not that they were fans, but it was that they are so devoted that they had the sort of nervous emotional investment in the success of the film that a parent might have in a their only child's first christmas program. they were too eager to be impressed, giggling at the first spattering of blood. at the time i felt vaguely bugged, and i thought maybe i just didn't like the movie, but now i feel that, though i still haven't decided whether i liked the film, it was the audience that tainted the film for me. in fact, i would venture to say that it was even a bit of an insult to tarantino himself. of course, the vindication of tanantino for me hinges on whether he intended to cater to an audience so base or whether he were not making fun of them. he is quite good at what he does, though. but i have to admit this one may have been a little over the top... but the jury is still out.
oh, yeah. check out martina sorbara. great for autumnal indulgences in melancholy.
